Ants Crawling Up a Tree (螞蟻上樹)

Pronounced: má yǐ shàng shù.One of my favorite dishes...
Obviously, there are no ants or trees in this dish. The "trees" are the long strands of bean thread and the "ants" are the meat (or in this case, the crumbles). Kinda like Ants on a Log, huh?

It sounds more appetizing in Chinese than in English, heh.
Anyways, it's traditionally made with pork, but I prefer my veganized version.

I am a sucker for bean thread. When cooked correctly, it's chewy, elastic, and totally better than regular noodles. You can find them at your local Asian grocery store. They usually come packed in pink netting. Also, the color of the bean thread is CLEAR and should not be confused with rice vermicelli, which is white in color.

What you'll need:
2 bundles of Chinese Vermicelli/Bean Thread (粉絲-fěn sī)
3 stalks of scallion
2/3 cup of veggie protein crumbles
2 tbsp soy-sauce (or soy-sauce alternative)
vegetable oil
water
Chinese chili sauce (optional)

1. Soak the bean thread in a pot of water until soft.
2. Chop the scallion into small pieces. Separate greens and whites.
3. Mix the soy-sauce mixture in a small bowl: 2 tbsp soy-sauce + 6 tbsp water.
4. Use scissors to cut the bean thread sparingly. This is to make it easier to pick up and eat later.
5. Heat pan and pour enough oil to lightly spread around. Add the veggie protein crumbles. Stir-fry until slightly burnt.
6. Add the scallion whites. Add soy-sauce mixture. Add chili sauce if desired. (I don't use it because I don't like spicy foods) Stir. Add water if necessary to prevent burning.
7. Drain bean threads and add to pan. Stir and add enough water to cover bottom of the pan. Cover pan with lid and let it sit until the bean threads are soft. This takes about 1 minute.
8. Turn off heat. Add scallion greens. Stir and serve with rice.

Happy eating!